We all have a family.  You have no choice who’s in it…you didn’t get to pick them and you certainly can’t fire them.  If you leave them, they are still a part of it – you carry them, and the baggage from them, around with you where ever you go.  (Baggage can be thought of as insecurities, beliefs, values, ethics, integrity and other negative character traits that keep you from growing, learning and being a healthy, more productive, vibrant person.) 

Then you get married and there’s the two of you bringing each of your family’s baggage with you to your new family. 

If that isn’t enough, we each have different ways in which we naturally act, react and interact to the world around us (translation: problem solving, dealing with stress, parenting, money management…are you getting the idea?). 

I often hear…

If he only thought like me we wouldn’t be having this problem!  

Or ‘I’m fine, but if you could just change my __________ .’  (fill in the blank here – spouse, brother, sister, parent…)

As hard as you try, you can’t change another person without experiencing a lot of resistance. 

However, you can change yourself.  And here’s the thing, when YOU start changing to meet another person’s needs (which is really the only person you can change…)

Something AMAZING  begins to happen.

They start to be less resistant to you, more trusting AND more willing to listen to your point of view.  Even if they think you’re crazy and your ideas are something from another planet.

Are you following me???

You might be thinking…How DO you go about improving the communication viewpoint in your personal life?

Believe it or not, there is a logical sequence everyone goes through when learning to adapt their communication behavior.

The Path to Change

In training programs, when we begin to lay the groundwork for improving communication skills it’s important to prepare people to receive the message that they do have the power and ability to influence change around them – IF they want to.  You can lead people to change their behavior, but they have to choose on their own.  When they are ready for change, we show them how they can improve their relationships. 

 The diagram to the right gives you a visual string of related events necessary to achieve an improved communication thinking.  (Yes, on the Business side I call this a logic model; it is, I’m just not trying to explain this in technical ‘business’ terms since we’re talking about personal relationships here)

 The diagram is circular because it’s ongoing.  Just like with anything else, practice makes perfect. You need to remember and apply the skills over and over to get them to ‘stick’.

Happy People Enterprises draws on these 4 steps when working with individuals, families or couples, or when designing relationship workshops, to help ensure ‘stickiness’ of the new skills. 
The ultimate results are happier, more accepting and more loving relationships with the important people in your life.  And that’s what you’re wanting or you wouldn’t be reading this page. …right?

Check out the Resources section to learn more.